So surprisingly, I slept ok. It took me a while to get off to nod-land but I eventually did, (at around 2am nonetheless) and was awake again at 7. 5 hours are better than none in my book. I have decided that I may sleep forever as I rather like that oblivious everything-is the-same-as-it-was-yesterday feeling and the nothing-has-changed feeling that waking up brings. But I don't think non stop sleep can regarded as actually living. Unfortunatly.

x

This afternoon, my boyfriend of two years told me that he didn't think he was in love with me any longer. What can you say to a comment like that? In a matter of moments my whole world felt like it was crumbling at my fingertips.I agree that we have been having problems, and it has made things stale, but all of this feels just too hastily done. I am stupidly confused for many reasons:
1. He insists that he still cares for me and that none of this is my fault (difficult for me to believe right now) because he thinks I am perfect? Oh how perfect I must be! So perfect that he decides to end our relationship!
2. As he sits and explains his feelings to me, he cries just as hard as i do about the whole charade and hugs me so tight I nearly faint. What am I supposed to make of that?
3. He looks at me like he always has.
4. When I leave him, he hugs me harder still and not only kisses my forehead like he always used to, but properly kisses me, this time, unlike he ever has before.

I think deep down he's just as confused as I am, and personally think that he has mistaken to staleness and lack of spark (which i have also been feeling), for something more drastic so instead of doing what a normal person would and actually TALKING about things, he does the only thing he feels he is able to do.

I feel like a fool for not seeing it coming really, but I'm half hoping that in a few weeks he'll realise how much he misses me and what a terrible mistake he has made.
Dream on love!

x

I think there is something seriously wrong with me. I have been looking forward to doing 3 hours of revision everyday! Yes, I said LOOKING FORWARD TO!! This week's topic is Contract Law, a topic that all through the academic year I have despised with a passion, possibly because my understanding hasn't got past the basic offer and acceptance spiel. HOWEVER, all of a sudden it's all slotted into place an not only that but I get it too! Hmm!
Also, whats with the weather these last few days? I have spent the past three days basking in the sunlight with all the windows wide open. I just wish I could bear to leave my house long enough to visit the beach...

x

Ok, so I've been really crap at this blogging thing since I signed up. Really, REALLY crap! This is partly because I'm crap... and partly because nothing exciting has been going on this past month. And I'd really hate to bore people with tales of what time I got up this morning (11:30 am, after being rudely awakened by a phone call from my mother), or what I ate for lunch (mushroom spaghetti). I'm quite new at this whole, telling people about my life, stuff and to be totally honest the people who's blogs I read are much more interesting than mine will ever be.
Nevertheless, I'm making a pact with myself to write at least once a week! I reckon if I get into the routine of doing it then it'll became much easier.

I'm actually really pissed off today. Its the first week of my "easter holidays" (yes, I realise easter was LAST week!!) and I was meant to be spending it doing work experience with the Crown Prosecution Service. Note the tense... MEANT to. I got an apologetic call on Friday from them saying that my security clearance, that was applied for some 3 weeks earlier and usually only takes 10 days to go through, had still not come through. I was assured that it was not the fault of the C.P.S and was constantly reminded of this and that it was all something to do with a screw up at New Scotland Yard, yada yada yada... I am now to spend the rest of the week, days and nights, alone in my house (my house that was burgled not too many weeks ago) because I have too much stuff to be able to get the train home with all of it! All typical really! I wouldn't mind staying on my own for the whole three weeks of the holidays if it wasn't for the fact that my house scares me and everytime the CH creeks I have to convince myself for the millionth time that, 'No, someone is NOT trying to break into the house...AGAIN!' And I also feel a bit bad for my parents, my mum especially, as I know she misses having another woman about the house AND she feels a tad jealous that I now live closer to my boyfriend so I spend more time with him that I do with her these days. None of which is my fault. Of course.
Not everything in the world is doom and gloom though, as on Saturday I got a delightful award from my old college for "Contribution to College Life". The testimony about me read out to the hundreds of people at the ceremony however, wasn't so delightful.

'Jess fulfilled her role as a student ambassador with enthusiasm and dedication during her time at the college. She was always a proactive and responsible member of the team who was not afrad to get stuck in. During a chaotic registration at Freshers Day, she jumped onto a picnic bench to organise, or should that be bellow, at 900 excited new recruits. From then on everything seemed to run smoothly. Jess went on to show her committment to college as Student Union Vice-President, a position she took on with maturity and unwavering committment.'

Needless to say, I was rather mortified.

Much love

x

P.S. I do quite hate that new Flake advert with Joss Stone. Ridiculous!

What is it about men in the gym? Student men in the gym to be precise. I finally persuade myself to go on the treadmill and by my standards I'm doing pretty well, until some huge bulk of muscles jumps on the treadmill next to me and pounds the belt like there's no tomorrow! So I move on to the weight machines and in an attempt to shrink my bingo wings,i try the peck deck! I'm feeling rather good about myself as i hike the weights up, but no...some dude sits on the next machine and proceeds to lift 200 odd kilo's.
Another thing about the gym is, how come the slim girls that glide away on the cross trainer next to me NEVER break a sweat, while I'm there leaking like a flippin' river?!

Anyway, rant over. Unfortunatly I have to turn my attention to Uni work, more specifically a 1500 word assignment on extradition, asylum and deportation and how these issues engage human rights!!

After reading numerous student blogs, all raving about the joys and funs of University life, I noticed that there weren't many that seemed to be struggling or having a 'hard-time' with student life. At first I thought it was just my being strange but after talking to a friend of a friend at a recent birthday party, I realised it wasn't just me who disliked most of the people I'd met at uni, it wasn't just me that loathed living in halls of residence so much i considered dropping out completely. Therefore I decided to write my own blog in the hope that I could reassure other students, like someone did me, that sometimes everyone else is simply on a different page to you.

So about me...

I am currently just over half way through year 1 of 4 of a Law degree at Bournemouth University. Originally I'm from a small town in the Cotswolds,(thats in the south west for those who have never heard of the Cotswolds) where I have lived all my life with my nuclear family. The first in the family to go off to University also, so no pressure there! I have a boyfriend living nearby which has been a huge help being so far away from home and he has definatly made the transition easier for me.

I came to Bournemouth in October '07, hopes high and candidly eager to please others...first big mistake. My room was small and my flatmates seemed fantastic(!)Second big mistake.
(A word of advice, do not decide you like everybody automatically. Even if your first impressions of people are usually correct, just wait and see. In the first few weeks everyone is on their best behaviour and this is capable of lulling into a false sense of security. Just when you're think everyone is your friend and how lucky you are to be living with such a nice bunch of people, reality grabs you by the hair and tugs very hard!)

Needless to say, I found myself stupidly miserable with being kept awake until stupid o'clock every night before having to be up early for a full day of classes, so after christmas I moved out of Halls and into a house with two funny, un-jockish guys and am now much happier.
So I plodded on with assignment after assignment and attended lecture after lecture after lecture. And with exams less than 3 months away I find myself asking, 'What have I actually been learning these last few months'....